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Every parent hopes their family will build
a close and loving relationship.
Every parent hopes when their children are
grown that they will have many fond memories of their childhood.
But how do families create those bonds and memories? By
creating rituals.
It is so hard in today's fast-paced, overscheduled
world to find time to spend together as a family. It is
too easy when a gap appears in the family schedule to simply
collapse in front of the television and meditate for the
evening. It is too easy to wait for the perfect opportunity
for bonding. If this describes your family's current pattern
then you need to find a way to break it now.
One of the best ways to bring your family closer together
and create memories that will last a lifetime is to create
some family rituals. Perhaps there can be some small ritual
that is a part of your greetings or good-byes. Perhaps there
can be a small daily ritual that is part of bed time. Certainly
you can create a ritual that takes place either weekly or
monthly. It might be a family dinner night, a family movie
night, or a family game night. It really isn't important
what you do so long as you do it together on a regular enough
basis so it does become a tradition.
One of the assignments I give my college freshmen is to
write about their definition of the word "home".
While they frequently begin describing a specific place
what often comes through are the traditions of their family.
Holiday meals, outings, and vacations are all wrapped up
in their definition of home. I see this in my own child
as well. We have morning rituals and bedtime rituals that
he clings too rigorously. While some, such as the bedtime
story, will eventually fade into oblivion I hope others
stick with us. One of those is the way I ask him every night
what was good about his day. If I forget or am tardy with
the question he is quick to remind me so it is clear the
ritual is important to him, but it is also important to
me because I love seeing what really matters to him. Sometimes
I can guess but sometimes I am surprised.
Another tradition I hope we will preserve is the way we
express our love to each other. While he is currently young
enough to let smooches (kisses), squishes (hugs), and snuggles
occur on a frequent basis and he is happy to tell me that
he loves me and hear that I love him, I know the day is
coming when he won't be so eager for this affection and
certainly not in any public display. However I am paving
the way for a new tradition when that time comes. Today,
we play a giggly little game of describing our love (I love
you as much as 10,000 walruses). My hope is that in the
future when I can't tell my teenaged son how much I love
him because I might embarrass him then I can at least whisper
in his ear: "1 million elephants" and perhaps
get a smile at the inside joke.
Deanna Mascle shares more articles for families at Answers
For Your Family at http://AnswersForYourFamily.com
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