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Excerpt from Woman Power: Transform
Your Man,
Your Marriage, Your Life
By
Dr. Laura
Women wield tremendous power over our
relationships with our men. It's obvious that our men can
be motivated to greatness in and out of the home with the
smallest words and gesturs of love, admiration, and support
from us, their wives. It is also obvious that what we have
the power to give we have the power to take away. We should
not take that power lightly. We should not take the needs
of our men lightly.
I recently took an interesting call from a second-marriage
mother and her eighteen-year-old daughter. The daughter
felt helpless to deal with her mother’s overt jealousy
and resentment that her new husband of three years was paying
more kind attention to the daughter than the mother.
Of course, I immediately pursued the possibility that this
guy was hitting on the daughter. Nope. I checked with the
mother to find out if the daughter was being seductive with
the stepfather. Nope. I then asked the daughter to hang
up the phone, promising her that her mom and I would deal
with it.
I admonished the mom for putting her daughter in the middle
of her own marital problems. Then we got into some details.
The mom had three complaints: that he was cheerful when
the daughter called him at work but short-shrifty when she
called him; that he was cheerful with the daughter when
he walked through the door at the end of the day but did
not have that same greeting for her; that he was cheerful
when the daughter requested a favor but wouldn’t do
what she asked of him no matter how often she nagged about
it.
“My dear,” I queried, “when you call your
husband at work is it to whisper sweet nothings or naughties
into his ear? Or is it to whine or nag him about something?”
The latter.
“When your husband comes home, do you greet him at
the door with a cheery ‘Hi honey, glad you’re
home, kiss, kiss’?”
Nope.
“When you ask him to do something for you, do you
pick it apart afterwards or show gratitude?”
The former.
“Then what do you expect from him with all this negative
training? I just want to know what happened to catching
flies with honey?”
I explained to her that when the daughter called him, greeted
him, appreciated him, it was a more positive experience
than when she, the wife, engaged him. Simple as that. This
goes along with part of my thesis, that men are simple—not
simpletons—but simple in their needs—i.e., not
complex. They need appreciation, approval, and affection
from their woman; and when they get that, they will, as
I’ve said many times on my radio program, swim through
shark-infested water to bring us lemonade.
Women wield more power in man-woman relationships. Men are
born of women, raised by women, and come to women for their
bonding and mating. Throughout their whole lives, women
are central to men’s emotional well-being. I don’t
think we can come up with one story about a man committing
suicide over the breakup with a golf buddy. We all are aware
of the devastation that can be wrought by a man’s
frustration when he is not loved, admired, appreciated,
and embraced by his woman. That hurt, rejection, or loss
can virtually end his motivation for life. Most men live
to serve their wives and children—their families.
When they are not made to feel that they are appreciated
for those efforts, they become hurt, lost, lonely, and not
very cooperative.
None of this is meant to condemn or blame women for all
the ills of the world and the home. All of this is meant
to affirm that women have almost magical powers to create
the atmosphere in their homes in which their own joy and
pleasure, as well as that of their husband and children,
flourish. And it isn’t complicated—although
difficult at first to break old habits and be vulnerable.
No tools or assembly required. Just a look of the eye, the
tone of a voice, the touch of a hand.
Simple. A few minutes each day . . . tops.
—Dr. Laura Schlessinger
February 2003
 Excerpt
posted with the express permission of Dr. Laura.
Get your copy of "Women
Power: Transform Your Man, Your Marriage, Your Life"
by Dr. Laura Schlessinger here from Amazon.com.
About the Author: Dr. Laura received her
Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia University and holds a
postdoctoral certification and licensing in marriage and
family therapy. She is the author of seven New York Times
bestsellers, which have sold nearlly four million copies
to date, as wella s four children's books. She is the host
of an internationally syndicated radio program and is an
avid sailor and bicyclist. The founder of the Dr. Laura
Foundationh for Abused and Neglected Children, Dr. Laura
lives in Southern California with her husband and son.
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