Self
Care Inspiration-Ideal Self
Ideal Self
by: Kimberly Fulcher
Envisioning Your Ideal Self
In my work as a professional coach, I've had the opportunity
to interact with hundreds of individuals. I've found
that people who are successful and fulfilled share common
characteristics.
They believe their success has very little to do with what
they have, and everything to do who they are.
They hold an ideal about the kind of person they want to
be.
They're willing to step into that vision, and hold themselves
accountable to high behavioral standards.
The quality of your life is predicated by the manner in
which you participate in it. Your participation is
based on who you believe you are. Unquestionably,
you have beliefs about who you are, even if you've never
consciously considered them. Today, I challenge you
to examine and expand on these beliefs. I challenge
you to develop not only an understanding of the person you
are today, but a solid vision of the person you dream of
becoming. Your Ideal SelfTo create an ideal reality, you
must develop a vision, which is an idea about how you'd
like the future to be. It's a clear picture of what
you'd like to create, and can be a source of motivation,
supporting you through the challenges involved in making
your dreams come true.An ideal is a principle or standard
worth trying to achieve. Your ideal self is the person
that you've always imagined being, and encompasses all the
power, strength, and integrity, you've aspired to.
This ideal invokes a sense of confidence, pride, and serenity,
and is you, at your best.There are three steps involved
in defining this amazing person. First, you must
connect with the qualities or character traits that guide
her behavior.. Once you've defined these individual
characteristics, you need to identify the behavioral standards
that she holds herself to. Finally, you must decide
that you are going to show up in your life acting "as
if" you are already this person. Let's move through
each step.Your Character TraitsAll of us possess positive
and negative characteristics. It's important to identify
all of your personal characteristics as you develop your
vision of the person that you're committed to being.
Make a list of the positive traits you'd like to incorporate
in your ideal vision, and the negative tendencies you'd
like to manage. In my work with clients, I've found
the following approaches helpful in defining these qualities.Other
People's TraitsThe qualities we notice in others have meaning.
Both the qualities you admire and dislike have stories to
tell. The qualities we most respond to in another,
whether positive or negative, are qualities we possess,
but have yet to recognize in ourselves.If you find yourself
responding to a person you recognize as outgoing, positive,
and energetic, these may be qualities you possess, but have
not fully embraced or developed. In kind, if you react
to the overbearing nature of another individual, you may
need to recognize your own tendency to be overbearing.The
Traits of Our PastWe've all experienced moments where we
shined. Your may have accomplished something extraordinary.
You could have experienced pride as a result of persevering
through a difficult situation, or been touched by your ability
to contribute to another person's life. It's at these
times you were applying the positive traits you naturally
possess.Conversely, we've all had experiences that filled
us with regret. Perhaps you spoke harshly to someone
you care for, or were impatient when with your child or
mate. It's in these moments your negative traits
were at play. Once you've defined the building blocks
of your behavior, you're ready to consider the way that
you'd like to show up in your life.Your Code of ConductI'm
not suggesting you move into life with the persona of Pollyanna.
I'm suggesting you consciously develop a set of standards
to govern how you're committed to behaving. In coaching,
we refer to this as a Code of Conduct. Your Code of
Conduct defines how you'll behave, and determines how others
experience you, and how you experience life. What
commitments are you willing to make about how you'll conduct
yourself? Act As IfChange doesn't happen over night,
but it can be conditioned over time. Once you've defined
your ideal self and your Code of Conduct, you'll have a
structure to support your behavior. Your next step
requires you to begin living as the person you've envisioned.
Your opportunity to be this person lives in each moment
of your life. Every morning, remind yourself about
the person you want to be, and reconnect with that vision
whenever you begin to slip back into old patterns of behavior.
Allow yourself to make mistakes. You will, and that's
okay. The commitment you've made to these new standards
will gradually meld into the beliefs you hold about who
you are. Soon, you won't be reminding yourself that
you're a nurturing person; you'll be one. You won't
be managing your impatience; you will have become more patient.
It will happen slowly, but it will happen. Take baby
steps. You are walking a new road. Put one foot
in front of the other, pace yourself, and stay connected
to your ideal.Interested in reading more, or in finding
out about our programs and services? Join our FREE
newsletter community at www.compasslifedesigns.com.
This material is excerpted from "Life Fitness
- Nine
Steps to a Balanced Life", written by Kimberly
Fulcher, President, Compass Life Designs. Copyright
2003. All rights reserved. Publication Authorized
Solely For Newsletter or Website Use. Not for Resale.
Edits Not Authorized. kimberly_fulcher@compasslifedesigns.com
. www.compasslifedesigns.com
About The Author
Kimberly Fulcher
is a professional coach, author and speaker, with
twelve years of experience in human development.
Her professional experience includes the co-founding
and $ 38 million dollar sale of SkillsVillage.com,
and her leadership of a leading Silicon Valley consulting
firm, where she grew revenues from $3M to $25M in
four short years. Kimberly sits on the board of
directors for The Silicon Valley Coach Federation,
and actively supports non-profit organizations that
benefit underprivileged women and primary education
initiatives. Kimberly offers group and individual
coaching programs, speaks throughout The United
States, and will publish her first book “Self
Care For SuperWomen” in early 2004.
Kimberly_Fulcher@compasslifedesigns.com
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